oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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