i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
