He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
