so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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