we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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