You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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