there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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