you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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