I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
