I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have post one night stand depression
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
