I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
its liver damage thursday
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
