i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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