In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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