You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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