I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
