I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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