It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
