You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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