careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
