Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
