I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
