Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
from now on my penis is your penis
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
