He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
