so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
