Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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