im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
