Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize