And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
