Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
