I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
