question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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