i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
