Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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