no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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