just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
