im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize