so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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