white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
