I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
