OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
