Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
