I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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