The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
