And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
nutella sex= disaster
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
