I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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