I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
