hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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