3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize