You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
this will be a night to untag.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
