So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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