You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize