just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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