You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
