dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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