I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
